Mmmm . . . Chocolate Chip Cookies
MONDAY, AUGUST 30, 2004 3:55 PM
So I just had a Specialty's chocolate chip cookie and I am blissing. To be more precise, I had a half a cookie. See Specialty's cookies taste like they are chock full of butter and sugar and some other blessed ingredients at the exact right proportion such that nothing overpowers anything else and the utter goodness comes through. They're heavy and tall and you sense that a whole one might knock you out, might be the cause of your demise—a happy demise that would be, but a demise nonetheless, so you go moderate and live for another cookie.

I rarely have these cookies. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've had one since January. And before January, I hadn't had one since 2002. I'm not obsessively tracking my Specialty's cookie intake, but I only ever have them at work and only when they're free. When there are lunch seminars and such, often we have sandwiches or other foodstuffs ordered in to make it slightly more pleasant. When we get Specialty's sandwiches in office the bread's always a little wimpy for what it's holding together and the last time I actually went to the shop, they didn't make the sandwich very well. Also it's a tad pricey. I'll stick with Lee's Deli, which sells sandwiches for "what a sandwich is supposed to cost" (™ Mr. Sassy). I can get salami with cheese for $3.15, tuna for $3.10, tuna and egg for $3.20, or turkey for under 4 bucks. Specialty's sells comparable and more elaborate shots for a little more cash. I don't get desert with lunch so I never have cause to just wander into Specialty's after picking up my meal. But I've thought about it, just for a taste. Then I remember it costs a dollar and a half and that I'm cheap, and I get over it. I think it helps that I know in the back of my mind that I'll get a taste soon enough.

I don't know the special formula, but it works. Maybe they taste so good because they are a rarity and my taste buds appreciate it more. Either way, I'll enjoy the high and wait patiently for the next one.

The One Thing I Won't Miss
SUNDAY, AUGUST 29, 2004 8:12 PM
Oh, I've enjoyed the Olympics and because there wasn't much I was dying to see, I was able with very little effort to see what I wanted between NBC, CNBC, and Telemundo. I don't really think I watched anything on Bravo, MSNBC (do I even have that?), or USA. The primetime coverage until midnight thing made mornings at work a little tough, but I can live with that every four years or so. But the one thing that really drove me crazy was the instigatorial method of questioning many of the field commentators brought to the post-match interviews. Maybe this is how it has always has been and I've just waxed over reality with pleasant nostalgia. Especially in the track and field events, the post-victory/loss interviews seemed designed to get the athletes to say something mean or blame somebody for something or even talk about someone besides the person being interviewed. After the U.S. women were disqualified in the 4x100 relay, the questions they got were not just "what went wrong?" but more like "whose fault was it?" and they tried to stick with the "we win as a team, we lose as a team" party line. With the men's 4x100, the U.S. men, who won silver (disappointing for them, lots of other countries would have been ecstatic), the questions were the same, and the men mostly stuck to their lines, playing at being good sports and good teammates, but the commentator finally got Shawn Crawford to say in great irritation that he wasn't pleased with the result. When Hicham El Garroujj won his second gold he said he was happy, but also that his English wasn't good enough to really put it all in words, did there need to be a follow-up question of the substance, "you said you were happy, but how did it feel out there when you realized you won your second gold"? Because, um, he just said he was "happy" which describes how he "feels" and asking another complex questions when the limitations of explaining in his non-native tongue have already been noted is just silly. And after, the marathon, did the "marathon expert," who I think really underestimated the possible psychological and physical effects of Vanderlei de Lima getting attacked, really need to spend two of his three questions to Dan Browne on silver medalist teammate Meb Keflezighi? (The expert said the only way he thought the attack mattered was if there had been a sprint at the finish and de Lima's upbeat attitude as he entered the stadium for the last line and crossed the finish line showed he was okay. But perhaps de Lima was happy because he made it out of the attack relatively unharmed? Wasn't it hard for de Lima to find his pace again, perfected over the 20 or so preceding miles, after coming to a dead stop and being pushed into a crowd? Maybe de Lima was putting on a brave face for the crowd, "flying like a airplane" (which isn't him being goofy, it's a celebratory thing; watch a soccer player after a goal, expert). Maybe he was shaken after the incident which slowed him physically until he could block it out, if he ever did. My point, just because he kept running didn't mean he was fine. Kerri Strug's second vault wasn't borne of her ankle feeling hunky dory.) So many times I watched thinking, "Ugh! Why are you asking that?!" For all the talk about fair play and it's great to be an Olympian, there appeared to be a blunt need to make people who probably already felt bad know that everyone else thought they should feel bad too—wasting everyone's time.

p.s. I'm not going to miss Jimmy Roberts' pieces much either. Some are interesting and informative, but most of them are way too smarmy and saccharine for me.

Summer Under the Stars
THURSDAY, AUGUST 26, 2004 9:27 PM
The surprising joy of the summer has been these marathons TCM runs most days where they show a bunch of movies all starring the same actor or actress. I didn't catch on to this great thing until Friday, August 13 when Mr. Sassy and I stumbled upon Pillow Talk on Doris Day Day. I wanted to watch it because it's one of the movies than inspired Renée Zellweger and Ewan MacGregor's Down With Love, which wasn't a bad movie except the end is crazy and makes no sense. Well, the end of Pillow Talk is crazy and makes no sense so at least Down With Love can be forgiven on that score. At any rate we finished out the night with the great The Man Who Too Much and the scary Midnight Lace.

I kind of forgot we had TCM because I haven't had it since I move back up to the Bay Area from L.A. over a year ago. So I was used to not having it, and I never remember that we do.

But last month Mr. Sassy and I caught Marnie, a nutty Hitchcock film starring Tippi Hedren and Sean Connery, and The Night of the Hunter, an insane thriller with a really, really creepy Robert Mitchum. And the channel was once again among the options.

So Summer Under the Stars has kind of become a fun weekend thing to look forward to. I've seen Jimmy Stewart's day—Rear Window (an easy favorite), The Shop Around the Corner (the basis for You've Got Mail, only darker and better), You Can't Take It With You, and Harvey; Olivia de Haviland's day—They Died With Their Boots On, Gone With The Wind, and The Adventures of Robin Hood; and I'm looking forward to Cary Grant's day on Friday (especially, Father Goose and Operation Petticoat, movies I watched a million times as a kid), Gary Cooper on Saturday (all movies I want to see or see again), and Gregory Peck (a fellow alumnus) on Sunday. I'm not going to be able to watch Esther Williams on Monday, but the lineup is awesome:

3:00 AM Fiesta (1947) A Mexican beauty replaces her toreador brother in the bull ring so he can pursue his musical career. Esther Williams, Ricardo Montalban, Cyd Charisse. D: Richard Thorpe. C 102m. CC

5:00 AM Easy To Love (1953) Two men vie for the heart of a Cypress Gardens swimming star. Esther Williams, Tony Martin, Van Johnson. D: Charles Walters. C 96m. CC

6:45 AM This Time For Keeps (1947) A famous singer's son falls for a swimming star. Esther Williams, Jimmy Durante, Lauritz Melchior. D: Richard Thorpe. C 105m. CC

8:30 AM Duchess Of Idaho (1950) During a Sun Valley vacation, a woman tries to solve her roommate's romantic problems only to get caught in a love triangle of her own. Esther Williams, Van Johnson, Lena Horne. D: Robert Z. Leonard. C 98m. CC

10:15 AM Skirts Ahoy! (1952) Three women join the Navy to find husbands. Esther Williams, Vivian Blaine, Barry Sullivan. D: Sidney Lanfield. C 110m. CC

12:15 PM Take Me Out to the Ball Game (1949) A beautiful woman takes over a turn-of-the-century baseball team. Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Esther Williams. D: Busby Berkeley. C 93m. CC

2:00 PM Private Screenings: Esther Williams (1996) TCM host Robert Osborne interviews Esther Williams on her career as Hollywood's greatest swimming star. BW & C 48m. CC

3:00 PM Thrill Of A Romance (1945) A soldier returning from World War II finds love with a lady swimmer. Esther Williams, Van Johnson, Tommy Dorsey. D: Richard Thorpe. C 105m. CC

5:00 PM Million Dollar Mermaid (1952) True story of Annette Kellerman, the world's first great swimming star. Esther Williams, Victor Mature, Walter Pidgeon. D: Mervyn LeRoy. C 110m. CC

7:00 PM Dangerous When Wet (1953) A family of fitness freaks sets out to swim the English Channel. Esther Williams, Charlotte Greenwood, Fernando Lamas. D: Charles Walters. C 95m. CC

9:00 PM On An Island With You (1948) A movie star falls for a handsome naval officer during location shooting in Hawaii. Esther Williams, Peter Lawford, Ricardo Montalban. D: Richard Thorpe. C 108m. CC

11:00 PM Bathing Beauty (1944) A songwriter enrolls in an all-girl school to court a pretty gym teacher. Red Skelton, Esther Williams, Basil Rathbone. D: George Sidney. C 101m. CC

1:00 AM Jupiter's Darling (1955) A beautiful Roman mounts a romantic campaign to halt Hannibal's invasion of the empire. Esther Williams, Howard Keel, Marge & Gower Champion. D: George Sidney. C 96m. LBX CC

I Kind of Wish I Lived in a Red State
SUNDAY, AUGUST 22, 2004 0:14 AM
Partly because I'd love to see and make fun of those scary George Bush ads that I see on The Daily Show, but not California television. Like the one that seemed to imply that the president had anything to do with the growth from 40 democracies at the 1972 Olympics to 120 in Athens. ("Victory") Even sillier was the part where they kind of imply that Iraq and Afghanistan are democracies, by saying that there are two more "free nations," which is kind of a liberal interpretation of the situation, but okay, sure, whatever. I know politics are all about obfuscation and spin on all sides, but that's just waxing over how icky things are. Also, um, there aren't any athletes from Afghanistan participating, but I guess it's enough that they would be allowed. But how about that Iraqi soccer team?

Also, I took this Slate quiz, Red or Blue—Which Are You?. And, apparently, I'm in between, but some of the clearly "blue" answers seem geared toward people who live in New York (California's pretty blue, but people drive everywhere and can park for free a great deal of time—you'll get it when you take the quiz.) Also, I know a lot of "red" things because I'm not stupid. Common knowledge is called common for a reason. Also, it doesn't hurt that Mr. Sassy (a blue person, I'd say) is from a red state, as are my other two roommates. But there were also a few educated guesses and lucky guesses. Not being a fancy pants helped the result as well. I suspect most people would be red or in the middle, but it's hardly a scientific poll. It was interesting.

Eating Babies? I Love Eating Babies!
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 18, 2004 9:13 PM
Wonkette has discovered the most important competition of the 2004 election—baby eating. First, a few weeks ago it was Ben Affleck for the Dems challenging Pesident Bush. And then, a couple of days ago, John Kerry got into the act, going up against the prez. W seems to be pulling ahead, though.

Sometimes It Feels Like Someone’s Stolen Your Record Collection
TUESDAY, AUGUST 17, 2004 10:20 PM
. . . and not in a bad way. I was lunching at the Wildflower Café on Sansome today and not paying any attention the music, just my mishmash of potatoes, rice, mushrooms, zucchini, egg salad, sauce, green bean, tofu, and sauces, and bam! the opening strains of Travis' "Sing." I immediately smiled and bopped along a bit and Mr. Sassy said "I thought recognized that note." So then what could the next song be? I'm not sure if I could have been as delighted if it had been any other artist besides Pete Yorn and his great "Life on a Chain." Being in a restaurant full of professionals, I mouthed along, trying not to sing louder than a whisper. By this point, we were basically done with our lunches and mine was swirling around skeptically in my tummy. As I drank my last sips of water to the close of the “LOAC.” I speculated what could possibly be next. Then came the horns and I barely contained my squeal as I realized it was Cake - "Short Skirt/Long Jacket." We really had to go, though I kind of wished I could hear the next song after that, but simultaneously surmised that I wouldn't be that lucky. And strangely enough, just as we were crossing the threshold and stepping outside, the song abruptly stopped, because, as Mr. Sassy put it, we were leaving.

AAAA Is for Awesome
MONDAY, AUGUST 16, 2004 11:29 PM
So right now, I am loving The Amazing Race 5, The Assistant, and Amish in the City. All different kinds of love, of course.

I think The Amazing Race is still the best reality contest show out there. I don't miss the Fast Forwards as much as I thought I would, and I'm glad no one seems to want to use that weird thing that allows you to punish people by sending someone to the back of the pack. The teams are crazy, and I almost feel that TWOP brought back the "God is in the Tub" NoN tee last month specifically for this show given that Brandon and Mirna call on him far too much. Colin and Christie are, well, really just Colin is, too intense and I don't feel bad they got screwed by the equalizer last week (though they stayed in first so it's clearly not too bad for them) but they wasted the fast forward because they had to know they could never sit on a 12 hour lead. Also, this game always has an equalizer, always. First season, and they get a 12 hour lead, maybe I feel bad, but that's predictable by now.

The Assistant is delightful arbitrariness. Schadenfreude at its best. Even if Andy Dick’s now supposedly dating a contestant. The shameless cribbing of other reality shows, the useless underlings who never help make the decision, and the fact that the contestants all think he’s insane and an asshole, but they all still want it. Except they clearly don’t know what “it” is beyond exposure on TV. Landing a PA job isn’t easy, but it’s not exactly glamorous. It can open the door to a lot of opportunities and isn’t something to be turned down lightly, but it’s not instant (or possibly ever) fame and fortune either.

And Amish in the City, which isn’t nearly as bad as it could be and is much better than I feared it would be. I think it’s great that the biggest conflict is cleanliness. The “city” kids don’t really knock the Amish religion, the Amish kids don’t proselytize. I like Mose in his utter geekiness, the way the Amish kids have mastered slang, the sweetness of first experiences. It’s not reality, though it seems that the traditional rumspringa’s a bit loaded with choice being not just the world versus your religion, but the world versus being accepted by your family. I’m pretty put off by raging vegan Ariel with her refusing to buy meat for people at the grocery store, the story about cows coming from outer space, and eggs being labeled aborted chicken fetuses. Nice. I’m not digging the creep of competition "tasks" that seem to have been just as sprung on the kids as the audience. But it’s still entertaining and allows for some surprisingly heartwarming moments. I don’t know that I can bet all of them will go back to being Amish, because most have found at least one thing about the non-Amish world that piqued their interest. Though Randy’s still a big enigma and Mose seems best able to see it as an experience to log alongside his firm faith.

Finally, is it weird that I’m a little bummed that Ad Report Card is going on vacation for a few weeks? He’s so great, especially today with his Skippy’s new ad is for stoners or his last deconstruction of the Citibank ad that basically thanks you for letting them walk all over you.

Not so awesome: doesn’t The Apprentice’s Ereka’s upcoming stint as the sidekick of The Tony Danza Show (scroll to bottom) seem like a train wreck waiting to happen?

Music to My Ears
THURSDAY, AUGUST 12, 2004 10:10 PM
So I'm hopefully going to get to go see Peter Salett at the Hotel Utah tomorrow night if I get out of work on time, which would be great because I've missed out seeing him for about 4 years now. He doesn't come out West that often and I was never living in a city where he was playing when he was playing there. A common problem of mine. It should be great . . . if I get there.

And there's a new music 10 up in the meantime.

FindLaw: Always Seeking Relevance
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 11, 2004 11:06 PM
I like FindLaw. I visit the site almost everyday. But I always find it funny and pointless when they link to an individual lawyer, usually someone involved in a big case. Generally, it makes some sense because it'll be related to a story about a legal issue or a lawsuit. On Monday, though, they were really stretching the limits. They were reporting that "hot" George P. Bush—son of a governor, grandson of a former president, nephew of the current president, and isn't his cousin a big time model?—got married, which is kind of a whatever story, and they posted the Reuters piece. Of course, this wasn't really front page news, but they billed it as one of their top three stories, which was silly enough. They made it applicable to "the law" with the headline "Bush's Heart-Throb Nephew Weds Lawyer." Yes. That's why people were interested. But even better, they linked to the firm profile of the bride with the tag line "The Lawyer He Married." The editors clearly failed to realize that it's not a legal story just because he married a lawyer (and is a lawyer himself, for good measure). But it was nice of FindLaw to dress up entertainment news as legal news. Gave me a good laugh for the effort.

Things That Must Be Brought To Your Attention
SUNDAY, AUGUST 8, 2004 7:43 PM
SOMETIMES IT'S OKAY FOR ORANGUTANS TO FIGHT
So in Thailand, they've stopped Orangutan kickboxing matches in the Safari World animal park. The problem isn't that, you know, it's a little odd and possibly sort of wrong to train orangutans to box, but if we can train seals to jump through hoops I guess this is in that line of progression. Apparently, the problem is that they are illegal orangutans, smuggled in from Indonesia. So the lesson is not having an orangutan permit is bad, but orangutan kickboxing is okay.

SEE, IT'S THE LAWS THEY DON'T ENFORCE
It's funny that the first I've ever even thought about super (unnecessarily) big SUVs violating those laws was reading Andy Bower's article on Slate. I'm especially curious because my San Francisco street has those "vehicles over three tons prohibited" signs all up and down it. I can see that enforcing it is politically unpopular, but I can also see that my compact car probably does less damage to the roads than a heavier vehicle, especially if it's in the neighborhood all the time.

BASEBALL STATISTICS DEEMED RIDICULOUS
So I don't think all baseball stats are silly, but Stephen Rodrick really put it into perspective. It is sort of cruel that these mythic numbers are created that are the threshhold that proves you were great or kinda almost great. There's no difference really between 490 and 500 home runs. I agree that we all should be pretty satisfied that Fred McGriff can hit home runs well. And the milestone tracker? I stumbled upon that when looking at stuff about the Hall of Fame. I was deeply confused by it all, mostly because I didn't know whether or why I supposed to care.

comments? e-mail me.