Pleasure in Random Things
MONDAY, MAY 24, 2004 11:26 PM
So there are three great things that I read today:

First, this craigslist post, Free Awful Couch, just made my afternoon. It was just so delightful in it's description of the awfulness of the couch.

Second, there's a robot that can do origami! Is that not the coolest thing? It's totally super-nerdy, but it's pretty awesome.

And finally, my student loans are going to get consolidated at a lower rate! This doesn't really matter because I'm paying them off early, but it still makes me feel good.

Oh, yeah, I didn't read this today, but the best thing I've read all month is Djb's recap of The Bachelor Finale at TWOP. He pretty much just let loose, and the results are stunning and brilliant. I couldn't stop laughing.

Quick Takes and Visceral Reactions
THURSDAY, MAY 20, 2004 10:50 PM
New math: Average starts at Top 12.6% of California High School Seniors
So there's a whole big hullabaloo because kids from all the way up to the top 14.4% instead of only up to the top 12.5% were getting admitted to the University of California. Apparently, had the proper standards been in place, all those kids who ended up going to community colleges with a promise of a guaranteed transfer in two years would have gotten into a UC. They stopped that apparent injustice (for next year anyway), but not entirely with a sympathy-inspiring attitude. UC Regent John Moore's choice quote:

"Kids with average grades and average test scores shouldn't be going to the University of California, and they are, no question. . . . These are kids who should be directed to the community colleges. It amounts to thousands of students and, in a time of fiscal austerity, I just don't get it. We need to raise the standards. They are too low."

What an incredibly dumb thing to say. It smacks of oblivious ivory tower intellectual snobbery. (Full disclosure: I went to UC Berkeley so I have a stake in upholding the high academic standards and reputation to keep up the value of my degree.) Beyond the fact that you're still getting really smart kids at 14.4%, the man's clearly never heard of the California State University system, which are supposed to catch the next 14 percent or so. Suggesting community colleges—and I know many, many very smart community college attendees—as the proper location (out of the way, in the dark, where their averageness can't rub off on anyone) for these apparently underqualified kids is insulting to students and the community colleges. Shouldn't regents be a little more aware, diplomatic, and respectful?

Warning Labels Now Required on Sexually Explicit Spam—The FTC Makes Me Smile
Honestly, this is the funniest thing I read today. My reaction upon reading the headline alone was: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, FTC, you make me laugh so." Honestly, it was. Please, tell me how they're going to enforce this when so much spam is from spoofed sources, there are probably tens of thousands of senders to regulate, I can't tell how the FTC's going to catch people (am I supposed to forward them my dirty spam? Will I get in trouble if I don't label it properly?), and yeah, I guess there is kind of a first amendment issue in controlling speech, even though it's commercial.

ok, ew, they haven't been testing sperm or eggs? ew
Really, this story grosses me out. All they've been screening stringently is blood? How the heck has that been going on? I kind of wondered about it after reading about this tragic story where a man died of brain cancer received through a transplant, but I didn't realize the extent of this.

Is It Wrong to Hope that Someone Passes Out on the Bathroom Floor?
WEDNESDAY, MAY 19, 2004 7:36 PM
I was kind of hoping that Saturday night at the Sarah Harmer concert about a lovely couple up front center, who my friends and I were directly behind. Particularly the guy, a squat barrel of a man, clad in black with his thin and thinning hair fluffed and hairsprayed into the hoped but failed illusion of volume, body, and thickness, and topped with chic sunglasses to further hide all the exposed scalp. His partner was distinguishable principally by the hospital bandage of cottony gauze and tape on her left inner elbow, as if she’d just had blood drawn, and the perma-daze expression on her face. Sun Glasses Head (SGH) and Blood Test Girl (BTG) enjoyed several Coors Lights and Coronas over the course of the evening, which probably explained a lot.

SGH left every ten minutes or so for the bar or the restroom or a smoke or I don’t know what. I suspect that BTG was fond of Sarah Harmer and SGH was fond enough of BTG to indulge her. It was almost kind of sweet and redeeming. But not quite. Each time SGH returned from one of these little excursions, he possessed a new and more repulsive odor. Also he kept farting. I’m just saying.

Additionally, SGH had met and exceeded his tolerance for intoxicating substances pretty early in Sarah Harmer’s set. Evidence of this included the constant flashing of devil horns (a metal concert this was not) and the moment when he very nearly keeled over, which he would have done into my shins and those of the girl next to him. The only thing that prevented the fall was his surprisingly effective grip on the edge of the stage and the vague awareness of BTG.

The near collapse followed by another SGH exit got me thinking about the advantages of a bathroom mishap. I didn’t really want him to pass out, but it was well within his mental state and my hopes for him to, say, get lost on his way back from any of his trips. Sadly, his internal compass was perfectly oriented and he made his way back to BTG every time.

I did my best to ignore these two and I largely succeeded. However, it was hard to disregard them when, for example, SGH switched from using the stage edge to using an on-stage speaker as a balancing tool. I could just see the catastrophic moment of him going down and taking the speaker and whatever it may be attached to down with him. And I would have the dumb luck to be in the middle of it. It was also hard to ignore BTG’s loud, off-key singing (every concert goer’s right, I concede) that, unfortunately, from my position, drowned out Sarah Harmer at times.

I’m all for going out and getting completely wasted on a Saturday night and having a good time. But please do it at a bar or a club. There’s kind of an unspoken social contract when you go to a concert and being rude and obnoxious enough to draw looks from the performer on stage probably violates that. Sarah Harmer’s periodic downward glances at SGH and BTG with what appeared to be a mixture of concern and irritation seem to fit the criteria. I’m also pretty sure the girl next to SGH whose nice, white, cotton jacket he drunkenly spilled his beer all over would agree. SGH almost convinced BTG to leave before the encore, but he couldn’t drag her out of the place fast enough, extending the time the rest of us got to spend with them. In the end it was all right, but unfortunate and distracting. I don’t want to wish people ill, but sometimes I do wish them gone.

See mirlie’s impressions and pictures. She is much nicer than I.

[small voice] I Take It Back: I Kinda Sorta Like Superstar USA. A Lot [/small voice]
MONDAY, MAY 17, 2004 10:56 PM
As such a mean show, I totally shouldn't like it, but the judges are so perfectly vague in their backhanded compliments and the contestants so self-delusionally confident that it is hilarious. This is yet another fake reality show mocking the genre like the great The Joe Schmo Show (first season) on Spike TV or FOX's not quite as good My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé. Superstar firmly proves that people love to have their egos stroked despite a complete lack of justification for it. The clips indicate the judging will remain funny, but I'm a little worried about the finale previews. The echoed reveal at the end seems like it might just be a tad too cruel. Like a bad dream, except you can't wake up. But I'll have to see. Also, when did Brian McFayden turn into a young Pat O'Brien? The vocal similarities were positively freaky.

Landmark Events and People Complaining About `Em
MONDAY, MAY 17, 2004 9:36 PM
Gay Marriage - Get Over It
So now legal gay marriages started today in Massachusetts. It's pretty cool. FindLaw had an AP article with this great observation:

About 15 protesters, most from Topeka, Kan.-based Westboro Baptist Church, stood near City Hall carrying signs with anti-gay slogans. The group, led by the Rev. Fred Phelps Sr., travels around the country protesting homosexuality.

It just makes me think of the old snarky reply that it must so nice that some people have their lives so perfect that they have time to worry about everyone else's lives. President Bush, while not visiting the Massachusetts marriage sites, but he sure helped bring us all together by reiterating his call for a gay marriage ban. I feel the love.

50 Years of Brown, And Things Still Kinda Suck
Well, the outlook isn't totally depressing at the fiftieth anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education, but lots more, like kids who can read, wouldn't hurt. Oh, and apparently John Kerry's upset that Bush's policies are leaving "millions of children behind." Earth-shattering.

Wheelchair Bound May No Longer Have to Crawl Up State Courthouse Steps
That just seems like a headline that should be in The Onion (though it would be written with more cleverness), but the Supreme Court basically issued that opinion today. In Tennessee v. Lane, which I (but really Dahlia Lithwick) talked about in January when oral arguments were heard, George Lane sued the Tennessee because the courthouse where he was required to appear on some misdemeanor charges only heard cases on the second floor and there was no elevator. Brilliant.

Did I Also Mention . . .
THURSDAY, MAY 13, 2004 6:45 PM
I really like the other Now or Never TWOP shirt for May, besides the Loud Is Good one? I'm also digging the Hello, Brother shirt which is a subtle, clever, and hilarious nod to the great show Arrested Development.

One Awful Thing, One Potentially Bad Thing, One Icky Thing, and One Good Thing
WEDNESDAY, MAY 12, 2004 8:50 PM
A Quick Bit on Iraq
I don't have much to say about the new crises in Iraq—the abuse and the alleged retaliation—beyond being pretty horrified by a lot of things in this campaign. There's plenty of shame to go around, but some sort of resolution or realistic direction for this to all turn. A couple stories have caught my attention.

From an AP story on Yahoo! News on the way that the media in other countries is dealing with the latest atrocity:

But Iranian radio accused Western media of using the slaying to distract attention from the abuse of prisoners in Iraq.

I can accept hating the U.S. to begin with and not wanting to sympathize, but didn't the whole beheading in retaliation to the abuse, filming it, and putting it on the internet distract from the abuse?

And Mark Morford (thank goodness his regular column is back) has perfectly summed some of this up. I'd love him if he didn't freak me out so much.

But let's not be too hard on the least articulate, least intellectual, least accountable president in U.S. history. After all, Dubya's just like much of America. He is the prefect embodiment of our world-famous myopia, a selective type of dangerous tunnel vision whereby if we don't see it and don't really feel it and the media doesn't splash it all over us, it must not be true.

Amen.

G4 + TechTV = G4?
So Comcast has bought my beloved TechTV and is "merging" it with Comcast's less widely-distributed gaming network G4. It seems from the press release summary that The Screensavers, the show I watch most regularly, is going to survive. However, since they've given everyone at TechTV 60 days notice, i.e., fired them all, I'm not sure if the hosts, who are a big part of the appeal, will follow the channel to L.A. Also, at least for the tech part, isn't San Francisco a much better location than L.A. You know, cos it's close to Silicon Valley and a lot of tech companies? Whatever Comcast.

They're Back! Not that I Remember Them or Anything
Cicadas are making their return this year. And apparently there are trillions of them coming to, um, mate. They emerge every seventeen years to procreate and die. But as loud and swarmy and gross as they will be, remember, they're not locusts. Cicada Mania told me so. It's a pretty interesting site. Check it out if you've got a summer wedding in one of the states that will be affected, all east of the Great Plains. I'm so glad I live in California.

The Olympics Are On (Don't Worry About the Bombs)
So despite my earlier concerns, it looks like the Athens Games are on track (enough) to mollify the IOC. Sure, there was a bombing recently near an Athens police station and several venues "are still weeks from completion, unlike previous Games when most preparations were in place months before the opening ceremony," but everyone seems awfully optimistic so I guess I'll remain so as well.

The Iraq soccer team making the Olympics is good too. It also says a lot about either the level of competition in their group or how awesome they are though.

New Is the New New
TUESDAY, MAY 11, 2004 6:15 PM
About a month ago I opined that fat is the new sexy. While I stand by that assessment, another pronouncement of change has recently come to my attention: Loud is the New Good. TWOP has a shirt that says so. While the description references dear Paris Hilton—can't wait for that album—the clear target is American Idol. First season winner Kelly Clarkson was all about the loud, but she was also all about the being a way better singer than everyone else, so it was forgivable. To a point.

This season, while LaToya London may be the best singer left in the competition, she sure can be loud, as she was last week in the big band show. (And, as an aside, a big band show? We're not finding American Idol 1937. That whole affair showed nothing except that a contestant might have range (good) but in a genre that he or she will never have to worry about in a modern pop career (thus, pointless).) I spent LaToya's entire performance recoiling from the TV as if leaning away would make her less loud. It didn't. Both her songs she had the vocals turned up to 11. She really needed a lesson in nuance. More volume doesn't mean more emotion or feeling. It just means you're loud. The fact that one of the two songs was a Streisand classic pretty much invited the high volume belting because, well, Babs is a high volume belter, which is pretty much why I tend to shy away from her entire body of work.

When Fantasia came out and sang one loud, upbeat song and a great controlled ballad, I thought "That's what LaToya should've done. One loud, one quiet." Admittedly it helped that Fantasia sang a Queen song. The girl gets major cool points for that. I don't think anyone else has done a rock song (albeit 30s style). Yes, Matthew Rogers did "Hard to Handle," but he didn't do it well so it doesn't count.

Anyway, tragically, loud is the new good, but the upside is we've only got three weeks of AI torture left. And with the judges not so gentle prodding, Jasmine will go home this week, in my dreams Diana will go next week (if she wins, I'll be even more disappointed in "America" than I already am), and Fantasia and LaToya will have some sort of overblown, faux diva finale. And then we'll never see any of the losers again. Until the "where are they now?" show where we learn all about how fun it is to be a TV Guide correspondent or the rewarding nature of being back home singing in the shower.

Movie, books, book, "talent" show
SUNDAY, MAY 2, 2004 10:06 PM
Yay! Tina Fey!
Mean Girls was number one with a $25 million dollar take. That is so good for Ms. Fey. She's really my favorite thing on SNL and I love her visits to Conan. And it's nice for Lindsay Lohan too, I guess. She seems nice and she was pretty good in The Parent Trap remake. I mean, she's been in a feud with Hilary Duff and for some reason that makes me want to be on Lindsay's side.

I'm bummed I missed this
If you haven't heard of it, the San Francisco Public Library's Reversing Vandalism is a really great example of embracing something senseless and terrible and turning it into something beautiful and empowering. Slate has a great slide show essay on the exhibit.

Lookee! It's Free
So one of my present-day lawyer heroes, Lawrence Lessig has put his latest book, Free Culture, online for free (for non-commercial use). It's pretty cool. I'll admit I haven't read it yet, but this book review by Seth Stern got me even more excited about it (you need to register but it's free). For more great thinking on copyright law, read some of Jessica Litman's work.

Anti-Idol? I don't have time for this
The idea of a fake talent show where talent is punished and lack thereof is rewarded is interesting. The trouble I fear with the WB's Superstar USA is that the joy of humiliation on American Idol—clearly the inspiration—really does come from the kids' self-delusions, mostly unaided by the producers. Case in point for the fallacy of producer created embarrassment was the wildcard round show on AI. When the producers only let some kids sing after making everyone prepare, and a quarter of the kids were rejected on the spot without warning, it came off as really mean and not so much funny, as the auditions were (at least before those got kind of old). I mean, I guess My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé and Joe Millionaire showed that you (and by "you" I mean FOX) can get ratings by lying to people (and by "people" I mean women) and then letting everyone laugh at them, but viewers don't feel bad because the participants should know better. Though maybe talentless kids should know better too.

comments? e-mail me.